


Lingering Star

by dreamkist



Category: Mass Effect: Andromeda
Genre: Grief/Mourning, Hamilton References, Hope, M/M, Space Husbands, Vignette
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-01
Updated: 2018-03-01
Packaged: 2019-03-25 17:53:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,123
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13839951
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dreamkist/pseuds/dreamkist
Summary: He closed his eyes and there Macen was.  Like a faded memory on the back of his eyelids.  The lingering light of a star – dead but not gone, and always a part of Avitus.





	Lingering Star

**Author's Note:**

  * For [GalaxyWanderer](https://archiveofourown.org/users/GalaxyWanderer/gifts).



Hunting down smugglers on Omega should have been an easy mission. But when did things ever go according to plan, Avitus thought as he reloaded. A group of batarians had stolen a weapons shipment and were trying to get it off Omega. Macen had asked for his help, and he could never say no to him.

Currently, Macen was trying to convince him to go along with his plan. A plan that involved him drawing the smugglers' fire while Macen got behind their position.

"Are you going to be careful?" he asked Macen.

“Don’t have too much fun, Avi," Macen taunted as he ignored Avitus' question and got ready to run. "Wouldn’t want you to strain something."

“Just stay alive,” Avitus barked at him before running from his cover.

“Pathfinder.”

Avitus snapped back to the present at SAM’s voice.

“We have arrived at the Nexus,” SAM informed him.

Avitus saw the ship was landing, his mind had drifted to that past mission with Macen on the journey back from Kadara. He heaved himself up from his seat to get off the ship and head to Tann's office to discuss the mission he had completed. He was relieved he would soon be able to go to his apartment and have some quiet.

He was holding it together, getting the job done as Pathfinder, but he was still torn up over losing Macen. And nothing could help that.

* * *

The cryo room was cold and Avitus was nervous, but he didn't let it show. Macen was getting into his cryo pod, ready for Andromeda.

The tech looked down at her omni-tool to give them a moment, and Avitus stepped closer to the pod and to Macen.

“Why did I let you talk me into this?” Avitus asked.

"Because you love me so much," Macen teased him.

Avitus just grunted at that but leaned in to press his head against Macen's. They stayed like that for a moment - touching, connected. Then he pulled back even though he didn't want to.

“I’ll see you on the other side,” Macen said, he sounded so sure.

Avitus watched as the pod closed and the cryo sequence was initiated.

* * *

His apartment was dark and silent. It was soothing to be there after the noise and action of the Nexus.

He mindlessly scrolled through messages on his terminal, not really seeing any of the words that moved across the screen.

"Pathfinder," SAM interrupted his reverie, and he came back to the present.

“What is it, SAM?” he asked.

“I know you have suffered a great loss. I may be able to help.”

Avitus’ interest was piqued by SAM’s words. “How could you help?” he asked.

“I was able to map Macen’s brain while he was Pathfinder. I have been compiling the data and have finished the reconstruction.”

“What are you saying, SAM?” Avitus asked while his heart pounded.

“It may be possible for you to communicate with a simulated impression of Macen.”

Avitus didn't know what to think. If he did what SAM was suggesting it might make him miss Macen more – he would only be talking to a fake version of Macen in his head. It wouldn’t really be _him_. But if this was his only way to see Macen again…

“Do it,” he told SAM.

He closed his eyes and there Macen was. Like a faded memory on the back of his eyelids. The lingering light of a star – dead but not gone, and always a part of Avitus.

“Damn you, Macen,” the words burst forth. He spoke before the image in his mind could say anything. It wasn't real, but it felt real enough. “This was what _you_ wanted. I couldn’t say no to you.” He stopped to calm down and continued more quietly, “Now, you’re gone. I don’t know how I’m supposed to do this without you.”

“I’m sorry, Avi," a voice that was too like Macen's said. "I’m sorry it didn’t work out the way it should have. But look at where you are. You’re in another galaxy. I know you’re strong enough for this. You can go on without me, and you will.”

“Macen,” he paused, “it’s not the same without you here.” He slumped forward and held his head in his hands.

This Macen he saw looked sad for a moment then perked back up just like the real Macen would have done. “Avi, you have to go out there and live for me, ok? Just do it for me. Please.”

And that was such a Macen thing to do – use Avitus’ inability to refuse him anything to make him do something he didn’t much want to do. There was no point arguing. “I’ll try, Macen. I’ll try,” he told the image.

SAM ended the simulation and Avitus remained in the same position.

“Are you alright, Pathfinder?” the AI inquired after he didn't move for awhile.

“No. I can’t do that again, SAM.” He shifted to lean back and let his head fall against the wall behind him. “But thanks, SAM. It was nice to see him again.”

“Understood, Pathfinder.”

SAM left him to his thoughts.

* * *

Back on Ark Natanus, Avitus didn’t like the cold that permeated the still and silent Ark. A group of turians led by Avitus were on board the ruined Ark to recover what they could.

Avitus had his own recovery mission to take care of.

Avitus had found Macen’s body on the Ark; his damaged armor showed where the fatal wounds had been. Alone, he had placed Macen in an empty pod that was still in working condition.

“Are you taking him back to the Nexus?” SAM asked.

“I’m going to let him go. Release him into space. I think he would like that.”

Avitus touched the pod and bowed his head. Macen had been his heart and always would be.

“Goodbye, Macen,” he whispered then sent the pod to float away.

* * *

Avitus had been considering if he wanted, or could handle, seeing Macen again. He sat staring blankly out the window of his apartment. After sending Macen's body off he felt like he was missing him even more. He finally decided, “Let me see him, SAM, just one more time.”

Avitus closed his eyes and settled back while SAM generated the Macen in his head.

And there he was. That familiar face he loved so much filled his mind, and he was glad he was able to do this. How could he have gone on without the comfort of this memory?

Macen smiled at him.

“You should see the stars here, Macen, they really are beautiful.”

* * *

The pod Macen's body was in drifted in space and came to rest on a long-empty Remnant ship.

Starlight reflected off the glass.


End file.
